Emotional Rollercoaster
When I see her, a light fills my soul
She’s the spring in the summer of my world.
I can see the emotion in her eyes
When she looks at me, my spirit starts to rise.
I know how I feel, but I can’t tell her so.
I’m beholden to another, my body and my soul.
She could so easily be my everything
But I can’t betray my first found love because I love her so.
I know that love is a precious thing,
Capable of being divided to infinity.
Is it a betrayal because I can feel the same love for another?
A younger woman in addition to my child’s mother?
I know it can’t be, so I try to hold it all inside.
But when I hear about her pains, it makes me want to die.
He doesn’t deserve her that I know is true.
I want to hold her close and whisper, “I love you”.
I see her and my heart is filled equally
With joy and with despair
To try to hold her to me
To both would be unfair.
So when she said that she was leaving to go away,
I died a little inside
But hoped she would be okay
I told her “Good luck” when what I wanted to say was “Please stay”
So she left, and I tried to let her go
But I knew deep inside
She’s bonded to my soul
It’s an emotional rollercoaster ride.
Six long months she’s been gone
And I’d thought the feeling would go away
I made myself forget what I felt
I’m a little sadder, my heart’s a little darker, my nerves a little frayed.
Now she’s come back, and my heart swells inside
She’s unhappy with him; she’s told me so much
I want to displace him, away from her side
I want to tell her the truth, but I can’t break the trust.
I suffer in silence, I pray for guidance
It hurts to have her so near and so far
My feelings are getting harder to hide
It’s a fucking emotional rollercoaster ride.
Lord, give me strength, help me find the path
Help me do the right thing, help me protect them from harm
Show me the mercy, spare me the wrath
My heart’s split in two, it’s broken in half.
She feels it too, she feels my pain
Her longing and mine are one and the same.
We want to be together, but we know it can’t be.
Help us find a way to set our hearts free.
Let me be strong, Let me be true
Grant me the wisdom, I beg of you.
What can I do to release this pain?
Like the clouds releasing a cleansing rain?
And now, I have an answer in my tortured soul.
Why didn’t I see it so long ago?
It’s so simple and clear, and blessedly true,
The path to release starts by saying,
“I love you.”
We can’t be together, but we don’t have to part.
By telling the truth, I’m true to my heart
We’ll stay friends; we’ll have fun, with no uncertain terms
Though I know the longing and I know how it burns.
I’ll be there for you, no matter where or when
I’ll love you to the very end
Of time itself, that much is clear
Call for me and I’ll always hear.
My soul is ancient, my story is told
And now I wait to watch it unfold
In this time, this place, we cannot be
But somewhere in space and time, we will be free.
Digitarii 2006
