A word from feral

“A word from Feral”

I can see you through his eyes

I can feel everything he feels

He locks me down

So all I can do is watch and wait

His pain is part of me as well.

I don’t like the pain

I don’t like his pain

I don’t like what hurts him

Right now, you’re what hurts him

If he’d let me out, I’d take over for a little while

And tell you exactly what he’s feeling.

I’d hurt you the way you’re hurting him.

He’s the one that would never hurt you

He’s the one that will always be there for you

He’s the one that will always love you

He’s the one you’re slowly killing

If this were a fight, he’d let me out

So we could live and fight another day.

But because it’s you, he locks me down

Pushes me back into the deepest part of his soul

Won’t tell you what he’s feeling

Doesn’t want to hurt you

Wants you to be happy

Wants everything better for you

I’m his passion, his anger, his fire.

I’m the one that fueled his love for you originally

He pushed me back then, like now,

Because he believes in love.

I want his pain to go away

It’s enraging me and killing him

This pain will kill him eventually

And then we both die

I won’t let you kill him that way

I won’t roll over and die for love

I won’t let him die for you

Because you’re the one killing him

Make a decision

Either be with him and make him happy

Or break his heart once and for all so he can forget the pain

So he can forget you and move on

Don’t want to lose him?

Then just take him in your arms

Be with him the way you want to be

Quit putting obstacles in the way.

Don’t want to kill him?

Then let him the fuck go!

Grow up and tell him the truth

Quit holding him like a fucking security blanket!

He may be your “Knight in Shining Armor”

Or “Soul Hero” or whatever you want to call it

But you have to figure it out

You need to see what’s in front of you

Want to lose him forever?

Keep going the way you are

Play the fucking games with the asshat

At some point, I’ll break his control and make him see the light.

He doesn’t want that

I can feel him fighting me even now

But I’m slowly getting stronger

I’m working my way into his conscious mind

Once I make that beachhead,

He’ll say enough is enough

He’ll just walk away

His promise to always be there will be broken

He’ll never be there again

Never to hold you

Never to comfort you

Never to make you smile

I’ll keep him alive

By killing that bright spark of love he holds for you

It’s powerful, but it’s not enough

To keep me from keeping him alive.

Relieve his pain and I’ll slide back into my shadows

There to await his beck and call

To fight and win as he needs me

Otherwise, I’ll do what I have to.